Love & letters

Blog for Sierra 

My friend Sierra has been convinced that her mother hates her. I don't know how they act around each other, but I know Sierra and I've talked to her mother a few times. They don't seem too close, but they're mother and child! The strongest love is between mother and child. Even if it's hard to understand sometimes (I hardly ever believe it).
I can't say much about this because my Internet-- oh, it's working now. 
Whoops, I got distracted looking at quotes. 
Anyways, Sierra, she doesn't hate you. You may hate her, but hey, "If your child has never hated you then you haven't been a mother yet."

"A mother's love is instinctual, unconditional, and forever."
- unknown

"A mother loves her children even when they least deserve to be loved."
- Kate Samperi, "Mothers"

Those quotes didn't have much to do with your problems, but you get what I'm saying, right? 
'Kay well now I'm changing the subject of this blog. 

My friend Rachel wrote a "letter" to each of her close friends, and I think I'll do the same now. (Please don't be offended if your name isn't near the top, I was typing them out as I decided to say. Thank you (: ) (Also if I say "dear" instead of "dearest" or replace "with love" with "sincerely". Doesn't mean anything.)

Dearest Sierra V. 
I understand you, a lot. You're my best friend. You've been here in my life for a long time, I can't remember a minute of my life when you weren't there. We're going through the same things in life, we always have been, but now we're splitting paths a tiny bit. 
Recently you've been an amazing friend for laughing with, and for being a friend. Thank you. 
With love, your BFFLOTWWWTMMLALFAAFAAHFAAEIITAFAY!

Dearest Rachel A. 
Thank you for being my friend. You're amazing! Thank you for helping me when I felt depressed the other day, thank you for... For everything! I love you! I hope I can also be there for you when you need support and a friend. 
With love, Kathryn. 

Dearest Sabrina Y. 
You're awesome. You seem happy almost all the time, and you're a bit hyper sometimes. I don't feel overly-hyper around you! I love how we can talk about almost everything & anything, and I especially love our few talks about piano! I love learning from you! 
With love, me. 

Dearest Maggie W,
You're a great friend! You're especially good at laughing with, and having deep conversations with. I just wish we talked a bit more!
With love, Kathryn. 

Dearest Emily P,
You're amazing, I love talking to you. You're my role-play buddy, my friend I can laugh with, and my friend I try to help with problems! I love talking to you first every morning and last every night, even though there's a long gap through the day. You're awesome!
With love, me. 

Dearest Bryn B,
I love you! You're probably my most unique and creative friend. I love visiting you even if I don't talk. I love when you read my blogs, like and comment my Facebook junk, and all that! You're almost always happy when we chat, and I love you for that. What I especially love about you is your hugs every time I visit you! You're probably the only person that I let hug me.
With love, Kathryn. 

Dear Charlie D,
WHY THE HECK ARE YOU READING THIS YOU MIDGET TACO?!
Sincerely, apple. 

Dear Megan H,
You're my older sister, I love you. I like how you're all awesome about everything. Some of my favorite memories from the past are with you. I love how you write down piano notes so I can understand them, and how you correct me now and then with piano. Cooking with you is also fun, and laughing with you! :)
With sisterly love, your sisterly sister that's your sister!

Dear Joy H,
I'm so glad you're living up to your name! I love our conversations about Fantasy, I love when you correct my artwork, I love that you're my sister. Can't wait for this summer, can you? :)
With sisterly love, your dog-lover sister. 

Dear Josh H,
... Justin Bieber. 
Sincerely, me. 

Dear Melissa S,
I haven't really talked to you recently. I don't really know what to write here. 
Sincerely, me. 

Dear Kendra P,
I don't talk to you much. You're one of my best friends, still, though. I love/d role-playing with you, and I very much enjoy talking to you. I try to talk you out of depression, but your other friends always end up helping you. I hope I help you at least a little. 
With love, Kathryn/Chris. 

Dear Bethany H,
I don't talk to you much but you're still amazing!!! :D I love you, you're so funny. 
Sincerely, me. 

Dear Hannah A,
We met when we were like two! We've both changed so much from that, don't you agree? We've gone our separate ways, you've gotten more friends and you're probably not even reading this. I love you, you were my first ever best friend!
With love, me. 

Dear Elisheba A,
Your letter is pretty much the same as Hannah's, 'cause I mean, you two are twins so there's not much difference in your awesomeness. I love how you seemed to care about me and talking when I last visited you!
Sincerely, me. 

Thank You's to people who will never see them.

Amazing people 

So this morning I was doing my usual check-up on my DeviantART account, uploading a picture and checking my messages and such. I saw someone commented on my profile, the comment said "You are beautiful."
I hesitantly thanked her, then checked out her page. She had a journal entry telling everyone all about what she was doing: She was telling people they were beautiful, people she didn't know, because the majority of people in the world have low self esteem. 
I want to be more like her. That is what this whole blog was about, partway. That girl inspired me, and now I think I'll get over my "what if they don't like it" and tell people they're beautiful. 

Thank you, Anonymous124. You really made my day. :)

Together.

Together, forever.

I cannot wait for the following summer. Summer of '11. I will make it amazing. Just watch. 
I'm getting a puppy this summer. She's ten days old today, March 21st 2011. 
I fell in love with her on the 19th when I saw pictures. I can not wait. 

Fantasy and I are going to be perfect together. We can make amazing memories for my photo album. We can share our silence, speaking to each other in different ways. We can share our optimism. We can share our love. We can share our life. 
I can't wait to hold her, to start training her, to walk her every day. I can't wait for May 27th 2011. 
This isn't official; I don't think my sister has asked my mother yet. My father agrees, though. I'd say there's a 90% chance of getting her. I can't wait!! I can't hold my excitement in. Oh, geez :)

I hope I help.

.
The law of attraction is something I talk about quite a bit. My best friend doesn't know what it is, so I'll explain it now. 
Have you ever wanted something or not wanted something, and that something happened? Well the universe pays attention to your thoughts, negative or positive, and gives you it. 
I can not define the law of attraction, but I found a website. http://www.law-of-attraction-guide.com/understanding-the-law-of-attraction.html That whole website is probably good, I've only looked at two pages. 
So now I'll go on with my blog. 

People really have to love themselves, and love others. Here are a few things:
Weight does not define beauty. The amount of make-up you wear does not define beauty. The color of your skin, hair, and eyes does not change how beautiful you are. Beauty is on the inside, not the outside. 
There is no ugly, there are only different types of beautiful. There is no bad, there is only different kinds of good. There is no hate, only different kinds of love. Be positive!
 “Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours”
- Swedish Proverb quote

I really ran out of things to say... 
Hmm... Well, yeah. I really hope I've helped someone, even if I didn't say much. I know I helped me =) (Whenever I write a blog about this sort of stuff, I end up doing a LOT of learning. =))

It could save someone.

It's good to love yourself. 
It might be the only true love you'll ever feel. Other people might love you, but you can't feel their love. 

Anyone reading this, you are amazing. Believe it or not. 

My friend thinks she's ugly, I think she's beautiful~ I sent her an e-mailing telling truth: "a man told his grandson: (A terrible fight is going on inside me -- a fight between two wolves. One is evil, and represents hate, anger, arrogance, intolerance, and superiority . The other is good, and represents joy, peace, love, tolerance, understanding, humility, kindness, empathy, generosity, and compassion. This same fight is going on inside you, inside every other person too." The grandson then asked: "Which wolf will win?" The old man replied simply: "The one you feed."
- I forgot. 

Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. - Malcom Forbes)
I hope I helped her :). 

So, really. Live each day as if it's your last, love everyone, smile, & believe in yourself. It could save you, or better yet, it could save someone you know. 
Have a friend with life issues? Be optimistic to them. Try showing them positives. 
Forget your enemies. Even if they did something extremely bad to you. 
In my last blog, I complained about my enemy, Ivana. Tonight I got into a conversation with her, I'm sure she didn't like it, but I enjoyed it. I forgive her for saying hurtful things to me. Forgive & forget. 

I find a lot of things on google in the middle of the night. Quotes about self-esteem, songs about life, and lots more. They don't really help me, but I keep them stored in my brain so that, hopefully, I can use them in a situation that could use some quotes and/or songs. :)

Smile, amazing reader. Love yourself & you will be loved by many. 

I'm a hypocrite.

A message for two people who will never read it.


I love my life. 
Is that wrong? Is it bad to love life?

I was having the worst month last month... I hated my life very much. 
I'm excited to say I've gotten over that stage; thank you for helping me. 
You helped me, even if you don't know it. 
Sabrina...
We were "best friends", as we called it. We told each other everything. 
Y'know, though... You know too much. You always stressed me with your knowledge. "Don't color on your arms, you could get skin cancer. Go eat now or you'll get anorexia. Why are you so happy? Are you high? So what are you going to be when you're older? You don't know? Well, figure it out or you'll fail at life."
Thank you for that. You made me aware of my life. 
Then we stopped talking on February 15th, because we got into a fight because I'm friends with some people you don't like. 
I went into severe depression that night, but you know what? You came crawling back. On February 21st, you asked if I wanted to be your friend again. 
I didn't care; why not make friends with everyone? 
So the next day you decided not to be friends. You called it "giving up" on me because I "won't succeed" when I'm older so "why bother".
I called it "Whatever, I still have more friends."
So we haven't talked since. I don't want to talk to you ever again. 
Y'know why?
Because when I talked to you, I was stressed all the time. When I talked to you, I was depressed. When I talked to you, I felt stupid. 
Now I have more friends. I feel better about myself. I love life. I love myself. 
Thank you, though. You really changed my look on life. 

Well, now for the other ex-friend. 
Ivana...
Hey, you. Did you know you've really been pissing me off recently. You just pop up. Everywhere. Y'know what, though. You didn't change my life at all. 
Like Sabrina, you stopped being my friend the same day. 
On the 15th you said something. That something has been with me ever since. Y'know what you said?
"Give up. You don't deserve a dog."
Thanks, I wanted to kill myself. Please don't talk about Riley like that; "You kicked him in the face. You killed him. I don't care if he was stupid, that's abuse. Don't like abuse? Don't do it."
Well, you know what? I didn't give up. That made me want a dog less, yeah. I didn't give up, though. I gave some money away, and I gave up on my grades. 
On Sunday, though, I changed my mind. 
I had a conversation with my sister. She gave me hope on it. I swear, I am getting a dog this year. I'm catching up my grades, buying dog supplies, and I've got a pup in mind. 
Ivana, I want to talk about you more. I want to tell you something. 
I put words into a song generator; it came out in a way that spoke truth. 

It began on a pointless evening:
I was the most idiotic person around,
She was the most awesome person. 

She is my enemy, 
My only enemy,
My ex-friend,
Oh, Ivana.

We used to like each other so well together,
Back then.
We wanted to chat together, around the world,
We wanted it all.

But one evening, one pointless evening,
You two decided to chat too much.
Together you and Sabrina teamed up against me.
It was uncool, so uncool.

From that moment our relationship changed.
You grew so hideous.

Just then it happened:

Oh no! Oh no!

She said it. 
"You don't deserve a dog."
My enemy hurt me.
She hurt me badly. 
It was stupid, so stupid.

The next day I thought my soul had broken,
I thought my life had burst into flames,
(But I was actually overreacting a little.)

But still, she is in my thoughts.
I think about how it all changed that evening,
That pointless evening.

My head... ouch!
When I think of that Ivana,
That ... That Ivana and me.